I'm never going to say never - starting now

The beauty of the divine is when you can look back on a journey and see how seemingly inconsequential, mundane choices in life led to the amazing and unknown. Today while I prepare to move - again i can't help but to sit back and just giggle at God. If you had asked me 10 years ago what I'd be doing I can tell you some things that would not have made the list. I would NEVER have said I'd be moving to Minnesota. I would NEVER have thought that I would have applied to be a church administrator or a pastor. The list continues. Five years ago or even six months ago would i ever, in my wildest dreams, think that I'd be where I am.

If there is one thing I've learned these years it is that I should stop saying never. "I'm never moving to Orlando" Whoops - moved to Orlando. "I'm never getting married." Well - I am. I give up. I've often said that my favorite verse is Jeremiah 10:23: "For I know oh Lord that a man's life is not his own. It's not for man to direct his steps." That's my hearts cry and perhaps I should have stopped more often over the years and really soaked that in. Instead I make plans. I determine my steps and then get stressed when they don't work.

I'm not saying that from this point on I'm going to lie in bed until God tells me to get up. (Though there are some days that that sounds divine.) I'm saying that instead of making my plans and running ahead thinking I have to handle everything on my own I can actually learn to rely on God. I can trust that what he has for me are good things, good plans - better plans than I can make. I need to find the tension between: doing everything on my own and figuring everything out by myself and STRESSING OUT all the time; and trusting God, finding out His plan, listening to what He has to say about this story He's writing that includes me but is not about me.

I don't have to plan. I have only to listen and respond. I don't have to stress - in fact I'm told not to worry more than once in scripture (suggesting that this is a trend with humanity). I think I'm going to get that tattooed on my right hand so I have to look at it everyday.